So the song goes by T-Pain. I was a fiend to the strip clubs for a good section of my adult life, those were the days. Hahaha!

My best friend and I wanted to get out of the house for an evening of fun filled breasts bouncing in our faces and booze creating a stench of bad breath syndrome that would rival that of a sickly homeless person that hasn’t brushed their teeth in weeks and I was all for such an night of action and entertainment.

As I was writing this initially, I had a good thought process of direction to take this posting. Then I let it sit for too long and coming back to it now and re-reading the first paragraph, I thought again; That all my nights which involved strippers begin in this same manner. Though, I digress, lets get this show on the road…

There was one night in particular that we headed over to one of the ‘better’ adult entertainment establishments in our community in order to get our fill of this breasticle action for the better part of the evening.

The night began innocently enough with us getting into the car, making a play for the the bank for some cash to ‘splash’ on these females and a small stop for some grub. After the prep work was done, we headed over to the strip club, parked front and center with prime position by the front door of the club. We get out of the car, head up to the bouncer show ID and were let in without issue…

This is where things get hazy, with the requirement to buy two drinks/haze of smoke/ and friends in tow, I continue the streak of 3, 4, 5, etc. drinks at the club to thoroughly enjoy the evening with my peers and the club full of nekket women bumpin and grindin the pole and people in the audience. After a few drinks and a few passes of different strippers, it seems my buddy is in good with a more than one of the chicks working there – good deal! Since the chicks think that they are good with one friend, they try to play the rests’ emotions for a bigger ‘tip’ for their dances – fat chance when dealing with me!

Stripper: ‘Tip for my dance?’
Me: ‘I didn’t see you dancing.’
She then just moves onto the next person to grind out some cash from them.

Next stripper comes around
Stripper: ‘Tip me for my dance?’
Me: ‘Hm…’
Pull a dollar out of my pocket
Me: ‘Do you have change for a dollar?!’
Stripper: ‘OMG! That is so rude, you are an asshole!’
Me: ‘What? Do you have change for a dollar?!’
Friend: ‘Damn man, you are a jerk. Don’t be a dick to her.’
Me: ‘What? Come on man, I’m just asking for change here!’
Friend: ‘LoL! Aite man, you should apologize, though.’
Me: ‘Eh. Aite man.’

I stroll over to the stripper that I so politely insulted and apologize, then get to joking about with her. She was still a bit pissed at first but, somehow we found a common interest and started talking smack for a bit. I then get her to come back to our place and we continue talking some more. At the end of the night, my friend started joking with me that I made best friends with this chick.

A few weeks later (maybe it was days, I dunno, time runs by me rather quickly :-P) we end up back at this same place and I see the same chick again.

She sees me from the stage and throws me a smile and after the dance comes down and we get to chatting it up again for a bit. If you’ve been to a titalicious bar, then you know the girls can’t linger in one place for long and either need cash or to move to another dude for cash, since I wasn’t putting anything out her and I chat for a bit then she would leave and come back and we would chat some more.

I saw her two times in the strip club but, I’ll tell you… Hell NO! I wouldn’t date a stripper. This video gives some good insight into why;

I’ve had some random experiences at strip clubs, more far fetched than just lap dance and some pole dancing. One example is the titty bar we went to for food because we were hungry late at night, half lost in Fort Lauderdale and the waitress or whatever girl kept flirting with me in an middle school way of teasing/hitting me – no dice titty bar waitress.

Now, Enjoy this little Vimeo stripper clip!

Stripper Skills from urjh on Vimeo.